We are living in a time that seems like no other in my lifetime, anyway, when it feels that there are tremendous, ongoing tidal waves of fear in the collective field, as well as in our own lives and bodybeings. I do not have to list the wars, horrors, economics, daily human struggles and losses that seem to be spreading through this country, the planet, and our own lives. There is so much heartbreak and suffering everywhere. This period or epoch of great darkness and strife on the planet has been called the Kali Yuga, in the Hindu tradition, a very long time when shadow and evil run rampant in the world. The mythic tradition of the goddess Kali is that she destroys illusion, she deconstructs what is not 'real' in order to reveal the absolute behind all forms.
Paradoxically, this is also an amazing time of awakening consciousness, the likes of which we have never seen. The Light of Consciousness, awakening, is increasing on the planet as more and more people are becoming aware of the Truth that is deeper than all apparent phenomena, however dark it may be. The veils of untruth are lifting, burning off in the fire of awareness, both personally and collectively.
On a personal level, it is easy for me to see how, when a huge amount of bright consciousness is present in a field, it seems to call forth shadow, either in the moment or within a day or two of the experience. I see this when I am working with groups or have attended a very light-filled event. My own shadow, in one form or another, wants to come out of the darkness to the sanctuary of awareness and the light of consciousness. Every part of us, however long it has been denied, suppressed, wounded, longs for the Light of Awareness.
Shadow, whether it is our personal shadow or collective shadow, is that which is unknown, unwanted, unloved, and wounded. At its root, it is not bad or evil, though its appearance may be. On a personal level, what is in shadow is usually some wounded, forbidden aspect of our human nature that has not been welcomed, wanted, or allowed to exist in our family, church, school, or culture. When it finally emerges, we often find a hurt child, some level of soul loss, and/or heartbreak, where part of us was not allowed, for whatever reason, to live and be free to express. It seems to me that there is always some level of soul loss and devastation that expresses as shadow, whether it is personal or collective.
Nevertheless, this is a highly challenging time for the planet, humans and otherwise. Our personal and collective initiations are intense, and the amazing skills and tools for healing, awakening, and understanding what is going on have never been so prolific or accessible. There are an incomprehensible number of unseen helpers from many dimensions guiding and supporting us. The veils are very thin, so asking for help can yield quick response. You don’t have to ‘believe’ they are there, or that only certain ones are ‘real’ and accessible, orthat you have to somehow be 'worthy' to ask. Experiment! Ask for help and see what appears. We are not alone in this cosmic crock pot as things continue to heat up. This life we are in, your life and mine, is the alchemical vessel. Everything that is needed is here now for whatever our wake-up requires.
So, what do we do with the fear and the terror that are arising, that permeate our daily lives and send shock waves through our bodies, tighten our muscles, jangle our nervous systems, and incite our thinking minds to run in all directions at once with all of the ‘what if’s’ and ‘oh, no’s’?
Samyama practice is the best method that I use to meet this fear, whether it is an old fear, a new fear, a small fear, or huge, shocking terror. Our thinking mind wants to get rid of fear, figure it out, make sense or make meaning of it, understand it, analyze it, and interpret it, which is fine, but it doesn’t really help when we feel filled with fear. Our nervous systems and our bodies are feeling the many phenomena that arise with fear and terror. Our fear may be catalyzed by something occurring in the moment, a situation we are dealing with, or it may be catalyzed by thoughts about the future: what if…? What will I do when…? How will I pay for…? What if I get sick…? What if I have no work…? How will I feed my kids…?
It is also common that fear evoked by current circumstances is also rooted somewhere in our past, perhaps to one traumatic event or a series. It is as if a thread goes from now to then and our whole bodybeing responds intensely to past and present all at once. There is, in fact, only now, so everything converges here and now. It’s all here now. The good news is that addressing it fully now often takes care of fear held from past experiences.
With Samayama, we invite the fear into our heart. Fear is only energy. Fear is an uncomfortable energy and often, we discover that feeling it, while uncomfortable, is not impossible or terrible. It’s okay to be uncomfortable. Fear is just energy. It is our thoughts that scare us and make us want to avoid feeling the fear directly. Fear is just energy. When we can directly experience the energy of fear in our hearts, without the stories that go with it, the fear energy will begin to dissolve. The body will begin to take in breath, relax, let down, open. Everything is energy, including the thoughts. They are not solid objects even when they seem to be. When we are fearful, our bodies contract, our breathing gets shallow, we may go into hyper-vigilance, hyperventilate, sweat, get cold, tighten our muscles, our spine may get rigid, we shake, we go numb, or dissociate. Fear has many ways of expressing itself energetically.
With Samyama, we invite the fear and all of its phenomena into awareness, into the heart, beginning with the first little edge of the fear. We approach our fear in the heart center the way we would approach a frightened child or animal—very gently and slowly. We breathe, we give the fear breath which creates more space for it to be what it is and to be seen and experienced for what it is. We invite it to come and rest in our heart. Fear doesn’t get much rest, so this invitation to come, rest, and just be, has enormous impact on our systems.
If the fear feels too big, too consuming, to open to feel fully, we can nibble at the edges of it. We bring attention to the fear for as long as we can tolerate it, and then back off when we need to. It is only energy, no matter how big and daunting it feels. We can gradually breathe into fear, inviting and allowing it to be as big and deep and intense as it is when fully felt. Breath will create the room for this expansion. When become more tolerant of the energy, we can open to feel more of it.
Now here is the magic of Samyama: when we are able to bring fear into our hearts, breathe into it, allow it to be as big, deep, and intense as it needs to be, as it is, keeping our attention focused on it in our heart center, this fear energy actually begins to dissolve. As it dissolves and feels less and less consuming, and we are less and less frightened of feeling this uncomfortable energy that we name ‘fear’, our inner Sacred Witness activates and we become able to witness this process with some distance even while feeling it. Witnessing allows us to become increasingly less identified with the energy of the fear. This is not a cut-off or a bypass. This is feeling the fear energy all the way to the core of it, feeling the full intensity of it—which may take some time, perhaps more than one Samyama session if it is a huge fear/terror. Truly, any fear or terror can dissolve in awareness in the heart when directly experienced. The energy of the Great Heart, in combination with our awareness, transmutes the energy of fear to something more gentle.
Sustained attention in the heart is key. Directly experiencing the feeling, rather than the stories that evoked the fear, launches the alchemical process. Alchemy transmutes the vibration of fear to a vibration of peace. Remember, fear is only energy! We can grow our tolerance for experiencing fear and other uncomfortable energies. As conditioned human beings in the process of awakening to our essence as pure awareness, many uncomfortable energies come through. If we don’t grab onto them, they pass through. Our heart is like a toll booth! We pay the toll with our allowing what is to be what it is in the moment. Samyama is a way of allowing feelings to move through and be transmuted in the heart center. Our human heart feels the pain of it all, the discomfort, and with focused attention in the heart, all is transmuted into silence, peacefulness, often love. It is also not uncommon with Samyama for true insight to arise through the body and the heart—not from the thinking mind.
Samyama is a gateway to freedom from staying stuck in fear or any other emotion. It is a gateway to nondual awareness, spaciousness. It does not matter if we start with terror, fear, grief. We can start with peace, love, or nothing at all. It makes no difference where we start. When we enter our precious human heart to meet what is there with our focused attention and awareness, directly expereince it, allow it to break open into the spaciousness of the Great Heart, the Sacred Heart of all Hearts, we are free no matter what is happening. We are the light emerging on the planet.
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